In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
