Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
