i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
