Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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