i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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