Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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