So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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