i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
