do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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