you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
