I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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