I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
