i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
