My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
