matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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