VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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