OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
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I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
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Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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