First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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