Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
