yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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