I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
