I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
