god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
His hands were made for my vagina.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
