im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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