Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency

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(703): View more from Virginia

He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.

Fav 29 976 2931
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(313): View more from Michigan

Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.

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(631): View more from New York

she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?

(516): View more from New York

nope.

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(757): View more from Virginia

Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions

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(913): View more from Kansas

He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.

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(941): View more from Florida

well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.

Fav 5 5231 1130
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.

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(813): View more from Florida

It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.

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