piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
