im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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