guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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