it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
