ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
