I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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