like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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