the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
