Dual....:-)
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
