she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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