I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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