I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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