Don't you send me to vm
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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