I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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