the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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