so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
So many bounce houses so little time
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
