i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
