Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
