escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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