Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
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