no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
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Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
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I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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