all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
