apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
