I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
