I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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