I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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