I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize