i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
A bitchslap is in order.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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