i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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