Do you still have your period?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
