nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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