Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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